The Curious Case of Eric The Putting Coach
Normally when Eric finishes his round, he's first to the bar to quench his thirst. Not yesterday. As 30 odd of us assembled upstairs as usual, one man, POTUS, was missing.
As can be seen here, the reason Eric was absent from the bar is because he was down on the practice putting green giving putting lessons and guidance to Jamie's good wife, Penny. So when Eric did finally arrive upstairs, it was only right we quizzed him as to what had been happening.
"Well, Penny likes it when I tell her how to putt because it actually improves her putting", said Eric. "But why wouldn't serial snake avoider Jamie help her to putt, surely that's the obvious choice of a coach" someone suggested. "Here's the thing" said Eric, "what I tell her to do is the complete opposite of what Jamie considers good advice, and so Penny prefers taking putting lessons from me". There you have it. Apparently a newly minted painting contract is up for renewal.
Reminds me of a story from a while ago when I played in a 4 person ambrose down at Oreti Sands. Our team was a mate of mine and a husband and wife who had turned up to play. Half way through the round the husband duffed an iron shot he had been planning to execute with some skill. "I think I see your problem" suggested the good lady wife. "Your left arm isn't quite straight in your back swing". To which the husband was seen walking away with the full mumbles going on ..."Hard enough game as it is without you trying to tell me what to do ......"
Then There's This .....
There has been quite a bit of foliage removal from our golf course over recent weeks but maybe some has slipped under the radar. This is a view of the 14th tee and notice the soil patch in front of the tee. Now not long ago in this very spot sat a couple of bushes which were quite superb at catching those low scudding shots and preventing the ball reaching the green tees.
Now some in our group, no names mentioned, have spent a lot of money at the bar buying whisky for various indiscretions on this hole. Some more than others. We could ask, did someone slip the greenkeepers a sly backhander to remove these bushes and hope none of us would notice ? Was it done in the chaos of the tree removal when all eyes were on a bigger picture ?
Let's just say our greenkeeping staff have spent an inordinate amount of time in this area not only removing bushes but weedwhacking that whole bank and general area. It looks so much tidier but it needs to be said, what was the ulterior motive in all of this ?
Welcome To The World Grace
Once Eric had finally removed himself from the practice putting green, the first order of the day was to celebrate the arrival of Neil's 5th grandchild, a granddaughter Grace. It was a big field today so we should also thanks to Neil for the generous shout and to congratulate Neil and his family.
Then the fun started. In the sixes 33 points saw Duncan, Kallum, Murray Cooper and guest Grant Kennedy sail away with $170 to share from the first set. 43 points saw Eric, Mahmoud, Warren and Flellis outpip the same crew by a single point to claim the second set. Then a fast finishing Phantom, David B, Neil and Bolty did themselves no harm whatsoever with 49 points claiming the final set.
The runaway winner in the Blue Jacket contest was Murray Cooper with a massive 41 points.
Then It All Got A Bit Trumpy
Say what you want about the Wagglers but we have standards, we have protocols, we have rules and we have decorum. Until yesterday .......
The Swinger's Trophy, which is looking decidedly second best as of late with the solid gold statue loose and rotating on the plinth, is carefully awarded to the person with the most birdies / eagles / albatrosses and if there is a tie, we scrutinise the stableford scores and the trophy is then awarded to the person with the higher or highest stablefords. That time honoured process is enshrined in Waggler's folklore and look out anyone who messes around with how we do things around here.
Eric had the prized trophy ready to award to the worthy winner. As the countdown unfolded, two men were left standing claiming 3 birdies each, the good doctor Sandy, and the poor putting coach Jamie. As we went to the sheet to see who had the higher stablefords, Jamie rocketed out of his chair, grasped the trophy exclaiming " I'm having that, I only played 15 holes so it's mine for the week."
Let history record that Sandy had 38 stablefords to his name and should have been the recipient of the solid gold ( loose ) lady. But Jamie was in no mood to hand it over. "Stop the steal" some shouted, reminiscent of January 6th all those years ago. "Someone should do something about this" demanded Deano.
Sorry Sandy, on behalf of the entire group let us bemoan the quality of the leadership on display this week. We will do better.
Oh and Senaka won the raffle.
Just another Wednesday at the office.